the victim

whoa.  it has been so long since i have been on here.  this first comeback entry is an igcse composition answer.  my students wrote descriptive compositions today and i modelled the behaviour by writing along with them.

here goes:

her hair was matted with blood, stuck to her forehead connecting the red mess to the gash across the bridge of her nose and left eyebrow.  it was as deep as a cut could be sliced so closely to the human skull.  it would need stitches, though if that point would ever be reached, there was no way of knowing.

her largest organ had been penetrated more times than she could face or comprehend.  the organs contained within the skin suffered a great deal of damage as well.  liquids spilled out from all parts like a morbid fountain.

the stab wounds varied in depth.  she thought of how the coroner would check to see which one was the fatal blow.

her laboured breathing indicated her lungs had been hit.  her slow, weak pulse meant signs of shock.  adrenalin was her only hope.

and the questions:  ‘what did i do to deserve this?’; ‘why would she hurt me?’; ‘what have i done?’

turning her head brought about excruciating pain.  her body was an undesirable butchered pretzel.  looking for her mobile, she had the clarity of mind to remember she had placed it in her pocket.  the rounded rectangular edges were digging into her thigh.

one of her arms, the dominant one, was so badly mangled that there was no chance it could assist her in this gruelling task.  the dependable arm was the opposite one to the pocket in question.  it seemed like hours but she was able to grasp the phone and press the emergency call button.  reading the error message was like being faced with the attack all over again.

the smell of iron or some other metallic scent pervaded her nostrils.  she could feel every single hair inside her nose as if they were independently grasping for the air her lungs craved.

surprised, she felt a jolt as her fiendish friend re-entered the room.

the gun pointed at her head, she had no time to… bang.




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